This post has been sitting as a draft for almost a month now and seeing as it’s still bothering me I figured it was high time that I pressed publish!
To say I’m beyond frustrated is and understatement! As you know I’ve been on this health journey for almost two years now and I’m still not even close to where I want to be. I just don’t get it. I’m so sick of my stomach. I’m not delusional- I know it will never be flat but come on between the weights and the cardio I do it shouldn’t be this big. I’ve cut out gluten and dairy, introduced a probiotic and pay attention to my fibre intake. I’ve used personal trainers, talked to my nutritionist and talked to my doctors and all everybody says is “be patient”. Well I’m really tired of being patient.
I work out 5-6 days a week, eat clean (approximately 1500 – 1700 calories a day) and on plan. Yes, I have things that are off plan but that happens very rarely. I drink on average of 4L of water a day and very little alcohol. I just don’t understand. I will also point out that I also love what I eat. I don’t feel deprived in the least because I will have something if I really want it and I’m just more focused the rest of the week to eat clean and make the most out of my workouts.
I see others that have reduced their body mass considerably in 6,9 and 12 months. Don’t get me wrong I’m honestly happy for them I’m just frustrated with myself and my body. I know I’m doing the right things and I’m not being rewarded for it and I’m mad.
The other part that’s tough is that I have so many people that tell me how I’ve inspired them to go to the gym or change their eating. Well I have hardly changed in size in a year even with all the stuff I talked about above. How can I inspire people when I’m not progressing. It’s got to the point that i honestly don’t even want to see people that have been following along this path with me. If i can’t understand why i’m not professing how is anybody else suppose to. I’ve even had a few ask if I’m still on my health journey.
I’m also tired of hearing “you look great but you were beautiful before”. Well I didn’t feel beautiful before. Hell I didn’t even really like myself much. I was always out of breath, just didn’t feel good in general and hated the way I looked in clothes.
You may see this as a bit of a pity posting maybe it is I don’t know. I just know that I’m really pissed. I know we are all unique and because of my health my body has it’s own set of struggles but I’m at the point that I just don’t know where to turn next. If you have suggestions I’m more than willing to listen, unless you’re talking wraps or skinny pills – that shit isn’t happening!